Betaris Box
What is Betaris Box?
The Betaris Box illustrates how our attitudes and behaviours directly affect the attitudes and behaviours of people around us.
When we’re stuck in a negative cycle, it’s up to us to stop that cycle by changing our attitude. This will positively impact those around us – and therefore break the cycle.
How to Apply Betaris Box to Your Life
The Betaris Box is a mental model that illustrates how our attitudes and behaviours directly affect the attitudes and behaviours of other people around us, therefore if you change your attitudes towards others, you can cause them to change their behaviour towards you.
This applies to how you view every person in your life, whether this is the children you are teaching, your work colleagues or even your own partner, children or family members.
If you hold any of these people in a negative light, every time you come into contact with them, everything they do or say will annoy you. This can also happen unconsciously however will show in our external behaviours, for example through your facial expressions, body language and tone of voice.
The person on the receiving end will gain a sense that they are disliked by you and then will behave in a negative back way towards you.
Looking at How We Communicate
When Looking at Changing Behaviour
The first step to changing the behaviour of others is first to look at one’s self. If you change YOUR behaviour and attitudes towards others then naturally others will change positively as well.
When you’re stuck in a negative cycle, it’s up to us to stop that cycle by changing our attitude. This will positively impact those around us and therefore break the cycle.
There’s a reason the Betaris box is known as the conflict cycle as it perfectly shows how attitude and behaviour are linked.
To effectively resolve conflicts, it is only possible if people are able to change or adapt their own behaviour, leaving behind negative thoughts that will influence their actions. This is not always an easy task if someone is pushing your buttons, however, if YOU become more positive and start to recognise the other person’s strengths and develop an understanding or empathy towards THEM then THEIR attitude and behavioural responses will therefore change towards you.
Carl Rogers who is an American psychologist and amongst the founders of the humanistic approach in psychology refers to this as part of his core conditions as unconditional positive regard and his work is crucial to understanding how human interactions work and operate.
When you recognise you have made a mistake, had too high expectations of others or spoken harshly towards others, it really is ok to say when you have got this wrong or even a simple “Sorry” as this will create a shift in how the other people around you will then respond.
It is up to you if you choose to break this negative cycle.