Have you ever wanted to read how the Betari’s Box model can be used in real-life?
Below we have given 3 different examples for you to learn from and apply yourself.
Example 1
Imagine you are teaching a class of students and one of the students is constantly being rude and disruptive.
You can feel yourself becoming more and more frustrated, annoyed and this puts you in a negative mood.
Your attitude causes you to behave in inappropriate and negative ways. Your body language changes as you become defensive, you may snap, shout, or be sarcastic.
Your negative behaviour in turn distresses your student, who then escalates their behaviour and mirrors back negativity towards you. You then have to send them out of the classroom and no real communication takes place.
You are both left feeling negative.
What if you were willing to stop the negative cycle and once you spotted the student becoming rude and disruptive you invited them to come and speak to you outside the classroom.
If you keep calm with an empathetic attitude, whilst seeing that your student is finding it hard to quieten down for their lesson, you can explore what will help them to feel safer and ready to be able to learn.
Can they sit somewhere else?
Ask if they need to take a short walk before returning to class.
If this is done in a supportive way, yet also still explaining the consequences if the student continues, you will more than likely get a better response.
By having this positive and supportive attitude at the beginning of the lesson with the student, you will possibly prevent the situation from escalating and taking up more of your time.
The key skill to this is always finding ways to regulate yourself first.
Can you take deep breaths and consciously try to be more positive and have a more open and relaxed body language?
Example 2
Imagine you are stressed with work, home commitments, your partner, and you start to see all of the negatives in your life and how you wish you would be listened to and lent a helping hand.
Your attitude again makes you behave inappropriately in negative ways.
Your temper becomes short and you cannot find humour in anything. You become negative, serious, and this reflects in your outward behaviour towards the other people around you.
What if you applied the Betari’s Box model and worked on your own attitudes first.
Are there ways you can lower your stress levels?
Communicate your needs?
Start practising gratitude and being more playful?
Would you then have a more positive outlook?
I think you may be pleasantly surprised and start to see a shift in how others around you start to respond in a more positive way.
Example 3
You are held up in a queue for the bank and desperately need to get an issue sorted within your half an hour lunch break.
You can feel yourself getting frustrated and annoyed which then impacts you physically as you start to become hot, breath more rapidly, and start to become anxious.
You then start to think negatively “What if I’m late back, nothing works out right for me”.
You are then rude to a member of staff and you walk out abruptly.
What if you applied the Betari’s Box model here. What would this then look like?
What would your attitude be like?
“Yes there’s a queue, shall I persevere or could I have a polite word with a staff member and ask if there’s a quieter time to come back so I can cut my break short and come back later on”.
Your outward behaviour would then be calmer and more present and you would be able to make your decision without putting yourself in a negative mood for the rest of the day.
Remember YOU choose your attitudes and behaviours.
Are you willing to break the cycle?
Check out three examples of using the Betari’s Box model here.